Last week I received the below testimonial. It’s anonymous as I agreed with the sender that we’d use it on the condition the reviewer’s name and company would remain confidential information.
Just wanted to drop you a further thank you. Harnessing the power of comedy has really dramatically improved more facets of my life than I could have imagined.
My relationship life is now through the roof, where the dates are nothing short of flocking to me. Your speaking with confidence and charisma building techniques have definitely helped me here.
Appreciate this is a rather unconventional thank-you but I thought you’d appreciate the perspective never the less.
-Anonymous
It made me happy for a number of reasons. It was genuine and the sender had grasped what we always tell delegates; that the skills we cover in workshops have a wider appeal than just communicating well with an audience of strangers for business purposes.
Having given this some thought I’ve realised there are more similarities to speaking to a room of strangers (either in a comedy set or a business meeting) and an initial chat with a potential romantic partner than I’d previously realised.
Here are 5…
- Let them come to you
Whether in a business pitch or a romantic approach, we can all smell desperation a mile off. For either to be successful you have to let them come to you, as if a part of you almost doesn’t care if it works or not (when of course in reality you do.) When you first start in either pursuit this is a very easy mistake to make, but I’d suggest you’d do well to address this if you recognise it.
- Smile
Chatting someone up or speaking to a room of people is hard, but if either of your audiences spot you’re stressed it can quickly become an obstacle to success. Smiling says you’re relaxed, confidant, pleased to be there and lots more. If you can’t smile naturally on demand then practice in a mirror until you can.
- Be in the now
Neither of these pieces of speaking are pre-recorded statements- they’re organic, real life events. If where you’re talking is badly lit then reference it, if it’s raining outside then reference that. Work audiences lose interest in a prepared statement and corny chat up lines work approximately once every 436 years. One of my favourite tips about comedy is ‘good comics talk WITH an audience, bad comics talk AT an audience- the same is true in these pursuits.
- Be passionate
You rarely hear a comic say they like something, they’re far more likely to say they LOVE something. Why? Because comedy audiences follow passion easier. If you want to elicit an emotion you have to show an emotion. Whether you’re addressing a room at a pitch or chatting someone up, work out where you can be passionate- the passion will help sell you.
- Think about what happened.
If you want to get better at both of these disciplines a handy tip is to take the learnings form your subconscious and bring them into your conscious, because that’s how you’ll learn quicker. Try keeping a diary; make yourself write down five things that went well and one thing you’d have done differently and watch yourself grow.
I hope these tips will help you communicate better, whatever your desired outcome is.
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